The Line Forms Here

It was a day of "Blue Hairs".

I have learned over the years that you can not assume that everyone knows what you know. So, I shall preface by explaining what a Blue Hair is - according to urbandictionary.com, a Blue Hair can be described best as follows: An old person whose white hair appears blue. Usually it is the only thing you can see over the steering wheel of the car they are driving - ex "Damn Blue Hair, get off the road"

Now that I have clarified, we can move on (btw - my true belief is that you are dumb ass, if you really needed me to clarify that)

At least once a week, at my POW (place of work, not prisoner of war......hmmm.....though, there may be a correlation) we have a Blue Hair day. This day used to be predictable. Every Wednesday morning the retirement home bus would pull up and the store became our very own over sized version of the Golden Girls set. Wheelchairs, walkers, dentures, Depends and oxygen tanks. I dont know if it is that old people are becoming increasingly independent and agile and therefore dont require assisted living or if the Wednesday Blue Hair bus cant afford the gas prices - but now the geezers are showing up at random.

Fucking Saturdays are difficult enough - so the last thing I want to deal with are the god damn blue hairs. Oh but no, today they were out in full fucking force. It did give me an opportunity to make some mental observations:

1. BH's only write checks. No cash and absolutely no debit cards. Oh, and they take at least 5 minutes to write the damn thing out.
2. BH's have coupons for everything. I wonder where the fuck they find all of them.
3. BH's travel in packs (nursing home bus, or not)
4. BH's always want items that have been discontinued (one time I even had a BH goes as far to yell at me and tell me that cosmetic companies and the government were in cahoots and purposely discontinued items in order to keep old people unhappy)
5. When the BH started buying item X, it was only a dollar. It doesn't matter if it is now $100 or now $5 - wouldn't it be fucking cool to live in the last century, we could get cars, houses AND makeup all for a dollar!)
6. BH's want their foundation (or as they call it "base") too dark, their lipstick too pink and their eye shadow to blue.
7. BH's have always "owned their own business" and feel more than free to criticize you to your face about how you are running yours.
8. BH's will argue the receipt is wrong.
9. BH's always want to talk to a manager (see #7)
10. BH's will ALWAYS go to the register that is closed, get mad when you explain that the register is closed, and when you point out that they need to stand behind the line forms here sign, they will in fact cut in front of everyone and claim they were first.